SPELLING EDITED

L-13. WHAT DOES 1 PETER 3:1 TRULY MEAN?

This study in God’s word is actually part 2 of the study “WHAT DOES 1 CORINTHIANS 3:11 TRULY MEAN?” which covers many things that I will not cover in this study. But this study is not dependent on any other study to be read first before reading this study. I ended the previous study with just a LIST of instructions for both husbands and wives WITHOUT any Scriptures to support those three different lists of instructions for a sound Biblical husband and wife relationship and a sound Biblical relationship with the Lord. And the purpose of this study is to give you the SCRIPTURES and how to apply those Scriptures to everyday life. But before we get to the list of instructions let us read 1 Peter 3:1 to refresh your memory.

1 Peter 3:1.

“Likewise, WIVES, be you in SUBJECTION to your own HUSBANDS; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;”

That is the way that some Christian husbands read this verse when it is taken OUT of its context. And All that some MEN see, including unsaved men, is that the word of God is commanding their wives to obey them. And thus, some men see women as being inferior to them as a slave is inferior to their owner. But I charge all men AND women to keep BALANCE when interpreting the Scriptures so you can see the “big” picture so to speak. First of all, the PURPOSE of Peter's teaching here is specifically for women who are married to an UNSAVED husband because the last part of this verse is about the husband being WON to the Lord BY his GODLY wife. So the subject here means to continue to remain married to your unsaved husband so that he can see the CHANGE in you because of your new faith in Jesus. And BY your godly living he will be WON to the Lord. That is one meaning of this verse of Scripture.

Also, whenever you see the word “likewise”, “wherefore”, and “therefore” then you need to look for why those words are “there FOR”. The word “likewise” means in the SAME MANNER. So then, wives you are to be in subjection to your OWN husbands in the SAME MANNER AS….???? What manner? There is a MANNER set forth in Scripture as to HOW the wives are to be in subjection to their OWN husbands and NOT always to all men. Both men and women are to be in subjection to SOUND Biblical leadership that is NOT lording over them but rather LEADING them by example and good sound Biblical teaching. The SIGN of every cult and false teaching is the dogmatically demanding of the leaders to obey THEM because they alone know the truth.

Always remember to BALANCE the Scripture by comparing Scripture with Scripture to learn the TRUE meaning of a verse of Scripture. And with that in mind, we need to look at 1 Peter 3:7 where we see another word “LIKEWISE”. Only this time it says likewise, you HUSBANDS.

1 Peter 3:7.

“Likewise, you HUSBANDS, dwell with them (Your OWN wife) according to knowledge, giving HONOR unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, (Meaning that your wife NEEDS you. She needs your LOVE. She needs to know that you CHERISH her and that you desire to NOURISH her as you do your own body. She needs to SEE your LOVE. She needs to HEAR your LOVING CONVERSATION. So men, HONOR you wife) and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Did you know that for every instruction that God gives to women God gives a counterbalance instruction to men? We can find seven instructions for women and we can find seven instructions for the men so that both sets of instructions will bring BALANCE to the husband and wife TEAM. And when you learn that you are on the SAME TEAM fighting TOGETHER for the SAME victories then you will stop fighting each other and start working TOGETHER.

And did you also know that there are seven instructions for BOTH the husband and the wife as a TEAM? I will just LIST these 21 instructions in their three groups of 7 instructions in each group. There are seven instructions for women, seven instructions for men, and seven instructions for both husband and wife together. And then in another study which is actually part 1 of called “WHAT DOES 1 CORINTHIANS 11:3 TRULY MEAN?” I will give you all the Scriptures so that you can learn the TRUE SOUND Biblical meaning of the words SUBMISSION, SUBMIT, and SUBMITTING to each other and to our spouses.

SEVEN INSTRUCTION FOR WIVES

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to FOLLOW your husband with trust.

#3. Learn to REVERENCE your husband IN the Lord.

#4. Learn to be friendly.

#5. Learn to behave godly to win your husband’s honor.

#6. Learn NOT to SLANDER your husband.

#7. Learn to TRUST in God.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to LEAD your wife as a good shepherd.

#3. Learn to LOVE your wife as Jesus loves you.

#4. Learn to dwell in peace according to knowledge.

#5. Learn to HONOR your wife. 

#6. Learn NOT to PREACH at your wife.

#7. Learn to never EMBITTER your wife.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR BOTH THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE TEAM

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to be like little children who trust.

#3. Learn to esteem others above yourself.

#4. Learn that we do not war against flesh and blood.

#5. Learn to obey the Holy Spirit above all things.

#6. Learn to submit to elders IN the Lord.

#7. Learn to obey the laws of the land IN the Lord.

Now, let us get into the Scriptures that teach us these 21 instructions to follow so that we have a good sound Biblical relationship with each other and with Almighty God the Father and his Son, Jesus. First, remember what I said about the word “LIKEWISE”. Your Bible may use a different word. Let me refresh your memory.

Whenever you see the word “likewise”, “wherefore”, and “therefore” then you need to look for why those words are “there FOR”. The word “likewise” means in the SAME MANNER. So then, wives you are to be in subjection to your OWN husbands in the SAME MANNER AS….? What manner? There is a MANNER set forth in Scripture as to HOW the wives are to be in subjection to their OWN husbands and NOT always to all men. Both men and women are to be in subjection to SOUND Biblical leadership that is NOT lording over them but rather LEADING them by example and good sound Biblical teaching. The SIGN of every cult and false teaching is that there will be some dogmatically demanding teaching from the leaders to the sheep to obey THEM because they alone know the truth.

In other words, since 1 Peter 3:1 is the first verse of the chapter then that means that the same manner of HOW wives are to submit to their husbands is in the previous chapter, 1 Peter chapter 2. So let us read 1 Peter 2:19-25 which teaches us that ALL Christians married or single men or women must SUFFER in the Lord.

Please read 1 Peter 2:19-25.

“For this is thankworthy, if a man (Meaning ANY person whosoever male or female) for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. (The key here is that BOTH women and men married or single learn to PATIENTLY SUFFER WRONGFULLY when doing GOOD and there is no cause for another to cause you pain and grief. And know while you are suffering unjustly that you have a reward from God and that you bring GLORY TO God)

20.  For what glory is it, if, when you be buffeted for your faults, you shall take it patiently? But if, when you do well and suffer for it, you take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. 

21.  For even hereunto were you called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should FOLLOW his steps: 

22.  Who did no sin, neither was GUILE found in his mouth: (Manipulating speech coming out of your mouth the serve you. The word guile means wile, crafty, cunning, subtility, deceit, trickery, and words used as a decoy to manipulate others)

23.  Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not but committed himself to him that judges righteously: 

24.  Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes you were healed. 

25.  For you were AS SHEEP going astray, but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.”

I am sure that you remember the words of the Apostle Paul that we are to FOLLOW Paul AS HE FOLLOWS Jesus Christ. So the order that we are to follow Almighty God is that LEADERS of the church follow Jesus who is the true and faithful servant of God and his church. Then the adult men AND the adult women are to submit or follow the leaders of the church as THEY faithfully follow Jesus to be servants of the church. And then the married women are to submit or follow their OWN husband as HE follows SOUND Biblical teaching from the elders or the overseers of the local church. And the single women are to follow the sound Biblical teaching of the elders of the church who are faithfully following Jesus. Then the children are to submit or follow and obey the leadership of their parents as their parents follow sound Biblical teaching to follow Jesus. And everyone, including the leaders of the church, is to search the word of God for themselves to see if what they were taught is the truth or not the truth.

And in submitting to EACH OTHER there will be SUFFERING things that are both wrong and just even when at times that which is actually is suffering justly seems to be unjust suffering to the one suffering. Especially to children who do not yet understand the WISDOM of their parents at the time that they rebelled against their parents. So they had to learn the HARD way that it would have been better for them if they had not rebelled. In other words, their just punishment was not worth the short enjoyment they had as to why they rebelled and did not submit to their parents. So that, in a nutshell, is HOW we are to submit to each other and how the wife is to submit or FOLLOW her husband as HE follows the TRUE GOSPEL of Jesus Christ. In other words, there will be times of suffering so we have to learn to suffer even when the suffering is unjust. This whole study could be on just instruction #1. Learn to PATIENTLY SUFFER the wrong that is done to you by others either intentionally or unintentionally. For you see, every wrong done to you is not always done INTENTIONALLY. Satan uses people, even good well-meaning people, to do his dirty work, and people are not our enemy. We do not war against flesh and blood but rather we war against the evil spirit working behind the people.

This brings us to instruction #2.

SEVEN INSTRUCTION FOR WIVES

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to FOLLOW your husband with trust.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to LEAD your wife as a good shepherd.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR BOTH THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE TEAM

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to be like little children who trust.

I chose to use the word “FOLLOW” as opposed to using the word “SUBMIT” because the word submission has been perverted to wrongly mean blind obedience to those lording over you. And that is what happens in CULTS and what should NEVER happen in the church or in the family. In other words, the ones we follow must be WORTHY to be followed. We must TRUST their leadership the same as we TRUST Jesus and the word of Almighty God. We are to be like little children to have childlike faith in the word of Almighty God. And that means that we ALL must be good Berean Christians to search the word of God for ourselves to see if who we are following is teaching us SOUND Biblical teaching. So the first clue is to look to see if the one we are following is a SHEPHERD or a WOLF.

We all know what a shepherd is supposed to be like. A shepherd PROTECTS the sheep. A shepherd drives away the WOLVES. A shepherd puts his sheep ABOVE himself. A shepherd sees it as his DUTY to watch over the sheep. A shepherd LEADS the sheep rather than PUSHES the sheep. The wolf, on the other hand, is SELFISH and seeks only to please himself. But the wolf is not always easy to spot because sometimes the wolf is in sheep's clothing. That is why we are to submit to each other by walking CIRCUMSPECTLY. And that is HOW the wife is to submit to her OWN husband.

Ephesians 5:14-24.

“Wherefore he says, Awake you that sleep and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give you light. (Or true understanding)

15.  See then that you WALK CIRCUMSPECTLY, not as fools, but as WISE, (Then the following verses TEACH us HOW to walk circumspectly as we FOLLOW God as Ephesians 5:1 teaches us. Submitting to EACH other is about FOLLOWING God and NOT about being slaves to each other. Would you SUBMIT to a brother in the Lord that commands you to wash his car? NO! Absolutely not! So why would you submit to a leader in the church who dogmatically demands that you believe and obey his teachings because he tells you that he alone has the truth? Especially when the Holy Spirit has shown you from the Scriptures that what he teaches is in ERROR. Circumspect means to be WATCHFUL on every side. And the Greek word translated as circumspectly means to be perfect or to walk straight with exactness. A wife submitting to her own husband is about her WALK with God. And if her husband is ungodly then he will see her good and faithful WALK with God. Are you getting a hold of the TRUE SOUND Biblical meaning of submission?)

16.  Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 

17. Wherefore be you not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. (It is NOT God’s will that a wife submits to her husband beating her. And it is not God’s will for a wife to submit herself to a husband that lords over her as his property or slave. Yes, she is to SUFFER the WRONG being done to her by NOT overcoming evil with EVIL. Follow the steps of Jesus. TRUST in God’s deliverance. Believe that your husband will RECEIVE the LIGHT on HOW he should be treating his wife)

18.  And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; 

19.  Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 

20.  Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 

21.  Submitting yourselves ONE to ANOTHER (Or to each other) in the fear of God. (Meaning that EVERY Christian is to submit or follow each other. Every believer has his and HER part in the body of Jesus Christ. We can LEARN from each other and, at times, some leaders of the church need to HUMBLE themselves so that THEY can LEARN from those they are teaching. I have learned many things from my readers over the years. And one of the most important things that I have learned was HOW to LISTEN to others EVEN when you KNOW in your heart without a doubt that they are teaching ERROR)

22.  Wives, submit yourselves unto your OWN husbands, AS UNTO the Lord. 

23.  For the husband is the head (The leader, the shepherd, the PROTECTOR) of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. 

24.  Therefore AS (Or in the same manner that) the church is subject unto Christ, (Does the church BLINDLY follow Jesus? NO!) So let (Or in the same way that Christians should NOT BLINDLY follow leaders in the church) the wives be to their OWN husbands in everything.”

This brings us to instruction #3.

SEVEN INSTRUCTION FOR WIVES

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to FOLLOW your husband with trust.

#3. Learn to REVERENCE your husband IN the Lord.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to LEAD your wife as a good shepherd.

#3. Learn to LOVE your wife as Jesus loves you.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR BOTH THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE TEAM

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to be like little children who trust.

#3. Learn to esteem others above yourself.

Always remember that whatever the Lord asks of the wife the Lord “counterbalances” the wife’s instruction with an instruction to her husband. That is why sound Biblical teachings on marriage should always be learned TOGETHER because when only ONE side of the marriage partnership is Biblical the other side is not in AGREEMENT. And how can two people walk together except they are in agreement? And sometimes we just do not agree with what the other spouse wants.

So the wife is to REVERENCE her husband while at the same time the husband is to LOVE his wife while at the SAME time they are BOTH to ESTEEM the OTHER ABOVE themselves. Are you seeing how TRUE sound Biblical submission works? Sometimes the wife gets what she wants and sometimes the husband gets what he wants. But when BOTH esteem the other above themselves it really does not matter to either side when one side seems to be getting more wants than the other side. In fact, the side that GIVES is blessed more than the side that receives. Let us look at a couple of Scriptures.

Philippians 2:1-5.

“If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any COMFORT of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, 

2.  Fulfill you my joy, that you be likeminded, having the SAME LOVE, (One toward another) being of one accord, of one mind. 

3.  Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 

4.  Look not every man (Or every one of you, whether male or female, look NOT) on his (Or YOUR) OWN things, but every man also on the things of others. 

5.  Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:”

1 Corinthians 12:22,23.  

“Nay, MUCH MORE those members of the body, which SEEM to be more feeble, are NECESSARY: (Or the ones in the body of Jesus Christ who are VIEWED as being of no importance or as being not needed, or as being not QUALIFIED, NO, MUCH MORE are the weak and feeble NECESSARY to COMPLETE the body of Jesus Christ)

23.  And those members of the body, which we THINK to be less honorable, upon these we bestow MORE ABUNDANT HONOR; and our uncomely parts (Meaning that the members of the body, as in, the church of Jesus who are esteemed inferior or not useful. And, therefore, they are not comely to those who wrongly think that women are not fit to be teachers and preachers in the church. And who also consider women who are pastors as being blasphemers of God) have more abundant comeliness.” 

Romans 15:1-3.  

“We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and NOT to please ourselves. (Sometimes it is EASIER just to go ahead and do the job ourselves rather than to take the time to TEACH others to be teachers. I am thankful that I was mentored by a Pastor that allowed newborn baby Christians the opportunity to teach so that they could LEARN to TEACH. And I am thankful for the church congregation for BEARING the WEAK teaching of new Christians just learning the word of God who wants to SHARE God’s word. I learned how to teach others how to teach in that church by their example of ENCOURAGING me to teach even if it was just my own personal testimony)

2.  Let every one of us (BOTH men, AND WOMEN Christians) please his neighbor (Or those close by us) for his good to edification. (So think what YOU can DO to BUILD UP the ones around you. How can you build up your husband? And how can you build up your wife? And how can you build up your children? How can you be used by God to build up others? Here is a clue. It please God BY the foolishness of PREACHING to SAVE them that BELIEVE. And how can they believe the word of God without HEARING the gospel of Jesus Christ? So let EVERY ONE of us, BOTH men, AND WOMEN preach and teach the word of God to everyone)

3.  For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached you fell on me.” 

This brings us to instruction #4.

SEVEN INSTRUCTION FOR WIVES

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to FOLLOW your husband with trust.

#3. Learn to REVERENCE your husband IN the Lord.

#4. Learn to be friendly.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to LEAD your wife as a good shepherd.

#3. Learn to LOVE your wife as Jesus loves you.

#4. Learn to dwell in peace according to knowledge.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR BOTH THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE TEAM

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to be like little children who trust.

#3. Learn to esteem others above yourself.

#4. Learn that we do not war against flesh and blood.

Instruction number four, again, brings BALANCE when everyone is doing their part. And when one side fails to do their part, then one side will SUFFER WRONGLY. It is alrighty to learn to suffer wrongly when you know you are right. You do not have to prove that you are right all the time. Sometimes it is better for the Lord to reveal the truth so that they can it directly from the word of God through the Holy Spirit leading them. So always remember to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Keep doing YOUR part TRUSTING God for your spouse or brothers and sisters in the Lord to do their part. Be PATIENT when you have to suffer wrongfully. And while the wife is friendly to her husband the husband should be content to dwell with his wife in peace according to KNOWLEDGE.

1 Peter 3:7.

“Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Let me give you an example of how I wanted my wife to SUBMIT to me for HER good and for my good. My first wife who died had had three brothers and three sisters. And one of the things she enjoyed doing was slap boxing with her brothers. One day she tried to get me into a slap boxing match with her and I would not do it. She kept taunting me until I became angry without sinning. I simply raised my voice a little to get her attention so I could then TEACH her WHY I would not slap-box with her or anyone else for that matter. But especially with her being a weaker vessel. Now, I know that there are some women who have trained to take down any man twice their size but I knew my wife had no such training. 

After I got her attention, I gave her the challenge to hold me down in order to teach her the strength that a man has over a woman’s physical strength, at least in our case. I agreed to lay down and allowed her to pin me down anyway in which she thought she could keep me down. I would lay perfectly still until she thought she was ready. And when she said go, I simply thrust her off of me and she said wait, I was not ready. So we did it again. We did this three times and her strength was no match for my strength. And when she SAW this for herself, then she SUBMITTED herself to hear my TEACHING of WHY I would never slap-box, wrestle, or fight in any manner with her. In fact, I refused to even argue with her or anyone else when the first sign of anger in either party started to appear. The truth always comes out in the end so why enter into a HEATED argument. Stop before anger sts in. Let the disagreement REST and give God the time to work it out His way.

I chose to use the teaching of how JESTING can get out of control and someone gets HURT emotionally even though there was no intention to hurt anyone. I said to her, remember your sister how she keeps getting hurt when jesting with you and her brothers and how the jesting ESCALATES to more hurtful jesting? Then I said, that is because hurt whether emotional or physical brings ANGER, and sometimes anger can get out of control which you have seen when jesting with your brothers and sisters. Well, the same thing can happen when you are “PLAY” fighting with someone. Either one of us can lose control and then PHYSICALLY HURT the other person. And then the one who gets hurt gets angry and wants REVENGE. And then the playful slap-boxing escalates to harder slaps that are now intentional because one of us wants revenge. So even play fighting can give way to giving PLACE to the devil. And that is why I do not like play fighting. Someone always seems to get HURT and ANGRY.

 So my wife SUBMITTED to my TEACHING. I did not lord over her to get what was good for the BOTH of us. And to ME, that is what true sound Biblical submitting means in the light of the whole word of Almighty God. My point is that your wife is not your enemy. Your husband is not your enemy. Your brothers and sisters in the Lord are not your enemies. And even the unsaved are not your enemy. And anyone who sees you as THEIR enemy we are to LOVE. The only enemy a Christian should have is Satan, the Devil. So always remember that we do NOT war against flesh and blood. We are to overcome evil with GOOD. We are to suffer the wrong done to us. We are to walk in the FRUITS of the Holy Spirit. We are to TRUST in God that everything will turn around to our good and to their good.

This brings us to instruction #5.

SEVEN INSTRUCTION FOR WIVES

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to FOLLOW your husband with trust.

#3. Learn to REVERENCE your husband IN the Lord.

#4. Learn to be friendly.

#5. Learn to behave godly to win your husband’s honor.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to LEAD your wife as a good shepherd.

#3. Learn to LOVE your wife as Jesus loves you.

#4. Learn to dwell in peace according to knowledge.

#5. Learn to HONOR your wife. 

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR BOTH THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE TEAM

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to be like little children who trust.

#3. Learn to esteem others above yourself.

#4. Learn that we do not war against flesh and blood.

#5. Learn to obey the Holy Spirit above all things.

Instruction number five is more for the unbalanced marriage where one of the spouses is NOT saved. Or either the husband is weaker in his faith or the wife is weaker in her faith. So the wife submits to her unsaved husband by, again, suffering WRONGLY or unjustly. We are NOT to overcome evil with evil. Now, the Bible itself only gives the example of the wife having an unsaved husband. And by her godly behavior, she can win her husband to Jesus but her nagging and complaining will only lead him farther away from God. Now, there are cases where the husband is saved and the wife is unsaved or weaker in her faith. In either case, always obey the leading of the Holy Spirit to NOT fight against flesh and blood which we covered under instruct #4. In other words, by way of the saved husband submitting to his unsaved wife by suffering wrongly at her hand will be a witness to her. But a saved husband NOT submitting to his unsaved wife to suffer wrongly will push her away from God. In other words, his nagging and complaining of all the negative things about his wife will drive his wife farther away from God. So our submitting to each other must MIRROR our submitting to God.

This brings us to instruction #6.

SEVEN INSTRUCTION FOR WIVES

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to FOLLOW your husband with trust.

#3. Learn to REVERENCE your husband IN the Lord.

#4. Learn to be friendly.

#5. Learn to behave godly to win your husband’s honor.

#6. Learn NOT to SLANDER your husband.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to LEAD your wife as a good shepherd.

#3. Learn to LOVE your wife as Jesus loves you.

#4. Learn to dwell in peace according to knowledge.

#5. Learn to HONOR your wife. 

#6. Learn NOT to PREACH at your wife.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR BOTH THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE TEAM

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to be like little children who trust.

#3. Learn to esteem others above yourself.

#4. Learn that we do not war against flesh and blood.

#5. Learn to obey the Holy Spirit above all things.

#6. Learn to submit to elders IN the Lord.

As you have been seeing, all three categories of instructions work TOGETHER to complement each other. When one side falls short then the other side picks up the slack to pull the other side back up. And when the husband and wife are always cutting each other down it is hard to have a peaceful marriage. So the husband has to learn to not preach AT his wife but rather he needs to learn to be gentle and apt to teach using word pictures and examples that your wife can relate to. And the wife must learn to talk POSITIVELY about her own husband when the other wives are belittling their husbands. Our words are more powerful than some Christians realize. So if you want a good loving wife then SPEAK what you desire her to be and NOT what you see her presently. And if you want a good loving husband then SPEAK what you desire him to be and NOT what you see how he is now. Please read the study “THE POWER OF OUR WORDS!”

This brings us to instruction #7.

SEVEN INSTRUCTION FOR WIVES

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to FOLLOW your husband with trust.

#3. Learn to REVERENCE your husband IN the Lord.

#4. Learn to be friendly.

#5. Learn to behave godly to win your husband’s honor.

#6. Learn NOT to SLANDER your husband.

#7. Learn to TRUST in God.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to LEAD your wife as a good shepherd.

#3. Learn to LOVE your wife as Jesus loves you.

#4. Learn to dwell in peace according to knowledge.

#5. Learn to HONOR your wife. 

#6. Learn NOT to PREACH at your wife.

#7. Learn to never EMBITTER your wife.

SEVEN INSTRUCTIONS FOR BOTH THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE TEAM

#1. Learn to SUFFER.

#2. Learn to be like little children who trust.

#3. Learn to esteem others above yourself.

#4. Learn that we do not war against flesh and blood.

#5. Learn to obey the Holy Spirit above all things.

#6. Learn to submit to elders IN the Lord.

#7. Learn to obey the laws of the land IN the Lord.

Colossians 3:19.  

“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”

The Greek word translated as bitter here actually means for the husband to NOT EMBITTER or make his WIFE bitter against him. And that is exactly what lording over others does. It makes them bitter against those lording over them.

G4087

πικραίνω

pikrainō

pik-rah'ee-no

From G4089; to embitter (literally or figuratively): - be (make) bitter

So if you are a wife being lorded over by your husband then know that he is being used as a puppet in the hands of Satan. Know that he has been DECEIVED by the FALSE teaching of other men who have misunderstood the true sound Biblical meaning of the words of the Apostle Paul. Learn to TRUST in God who will give your husband LIGHT so he will learn to LOVE and HONOR you even as the Lord loves the church and gave his LIFE for the church. Now, I did not understand how obeying the laws of the land tie in until I heard the Holy Spirit say to me to think what happens WHEN the laws of the land are NOT obeyed.

And then I remembered getting a traffic ticket for a rolling stop at a stop sign and how MUCH of a financial burden that traffic FINE placed on my already strained budget. If ONLY I would have made a complete stop and avoided that unnecessary money obligation. Then I realized that the Holy Spirit was trying to get me to see that the laws of the land are put in place for OUR OWN GOOD. And the SAME is true with God’s laws under the New and BETTER Covenant written in the New Testament. Submitting to God's law is not burdensome when we understand that they are for OUR OWN GOOD.

I want to comment on two more verses which I have never heard anyone go into them the way that I see them.

1 Peter 3:6,7.  

“Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: (BUT did Sarah live in FEAR of her husband like some good Christian women do today living in fear of their own husbands) whose daughters you are, as long as (The words “as long as” are NOT in the original Greek text) you do well and are NOT afraid with any amazement. (No one seems to expound much on this last phrase to NOT be afraid with any amazement)

7.  Likewise, (Or in the SAME MANNER) you husbands, dwell with them (NOT giving them CAUSE to live in fear of you) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” 

Now, when you look at the last phrase of verse 7 then you can see that there is something that the husband NOT dwelling together with his wife in KNOWLEDGE is doing that can HINDER his PRAYERS. And when we connect the last phrase of verse 6 with the last phrase of verse 7 then we can see that the husband who is NOT dwelling together with his wife according to KNOWLEDGE is doing something that causes his wife to live in FEAR of something SUDDEN. It is like at any moment she is in FEAR that something bad is going to happen.

Now, I have seen women who you can tell without being told that they are in FEAR of the husband having been beaten by their husbands unjustly. There is NO just reason in the eyes of Almighty God for a husband to beat his wife. You can see them cower down at any SUDDEN movement by their husband that surprises them. And you know that they are living in almost constant fear of their husbands. So to ME, this passage of Scripture in 1 Peter 3:1-7 is teaching the husbands to NOT lord over their wives. And these same verses are teaching the wife to NOT submit to her OWN husband IN FEAR of him, but rather, she is ONLY to submit to him IF her OWN husband is HONORING her IN the Lord.

Also, when verses 6 and 7 are viewed ALONE and apart from the rest of God's word then they may seem to be saying something that the WHOLE word of Almighty God is NOT TRUY teaching us. Let me explain what I mean by this.

1 Peter 3:6,7.  

“Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: (Or even as Sara SUBMITTED to her husband Abraham and OBEY Abraham so ought every wife must OBEY their own husbands) whose daughters you are, as long as (Or as long as you OBEY your husbands) you do well, (That is the way some interpret this verse. But to ME, with that kind of interpretation the next phrase makes no sense to me) AND are NOT afraid with any amazement. 

7.  Likewise, (Or MOREOVER or SO THEN) you husbands, dwell with them (NOT giving them CAUSE to live in fear of you) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” 

Now, some Christians just ignore that last phrase in verse 7 in order to dogmatically teach us that the Apostle Peter is definitely teaching wives to SUBMIT and to OBEY their husbands no matter what. So let us ASSUME they are correct. Let us ASSUME that Peter is CONTRADICTING the teaching of the Apostle Paul by holding on to the Jewish CUSTOM of the wives OBEY their husbands like Sara obeyed Abraham. 

We know that Paul withstood Peter to his face in front of all the other Apostles because Peter was WRONG to fear his fellow Jewish Christians and the unsaved Jews to STOP eating meat that under the Law of Moses contained in ordinances was unclean. Then in Peter's NEXT letter, he warns Christians that while some of Paul’s teachings are HARD to understand or hard to receive, Paul is teaching the truth. And that truth is that the all Jewish church was still yet LEARNING their liberty IN Jesus Christ. And part of that LIBERTY in Jesus is that women are NO LONGER required to wear head coverings. Women are ALLOWED to TEACH MEN. And women NO LONGER have to BLINDLY submit to their husband to live is FEAR that if they do not obey his every word then they are sinning. Please read the study “ACTS 10-PETER’S VISION OF CLEANSED MEATS!” In that study, I show all the verses that clearly teach us that the early church was still yet LEARNING their freedom in Jesus Christ. And for further study on the subject of the role of the women in the church and in the home, please read all the studies under the heading >>>CAN WOMEN BE PASTORS?<<< And please be sure to read part one of this particular study if you have not done so already. Each one of the studies under the above heading goes deeper into the Biblical husband and wife relationship to each other BUT they also give sound Biblical teaching as to how God uses WOMEN IN the church. Again, part one of this study is called “WHAT DOES 1 CORINTHIANS 11:3 TRULY MEAN?” Also, here is a link to a video teaching that I came across in my research on the role of women in the church. It is titled Women in leadership! Must women keep silent? And here is another video showing how women are faced with choosing God over their family's misguided beliefs and, therefore, they are faced with LOSING their family. Twisted Scripture - 1 Timothy 2:12. And below are some more video teachings by others.

Thanks for reading and may God bless you richly as you continue to seek the TRUTH of the WHOLE word of Almighty God.

Your brother in our Lord Jesus Christ,

Brother Mark.